The Life-Changing
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My earliest memory of the entire concept was from The Oprah Show. I recall Oprah explaining how she had read this amazing perspective on what we bring into our homes and how our things should "spark joy" for us...that they should have beauty and inspire us, and if they don't we should discard them. That simple premise influenced me tremendously. For several years, I have kept that idea in mind every time I was tempted at a second hand store, and especially when something was "free". After all, I grew up filling my bag with any free samples I could get my hands on, only to toss them into a box or drawer and never look at them again 99% of the time. At some point, I did start to say "I don't need that" and walk past the free offer. I started leaving soaps in hotel rooms and not hoarding the little shampoo bottles, and I always marked that as a milestone on my chart of "Adulting". I saw this wonderful perspective of seeking beauty in every item you own as being a VERY helpful filter for me, especially as an ADHD brained individual where executive function is THE largest hurdle to creating positive structure for ourselves. Having a direction and system of some kind that made sense to me is the only way I have ever been able to make real change in my own life.
Even so, all the beauty seeking wasn't cutting it. The reality is, I live with 4 other humans (more ADHD brains among them) and we have entirely too much stuff. SO much stuff...and if moving twice in 10 years didn't show us this, nothing would have. I'm aware...and I suffer every single day because of it. I've been known to assert how I am "a very organized person trapped in the body of a messy person". I SEE the mess, I HATE the mess, and I feel like I can't control the mess.
So this brings us to the title I popped onto this piece...and I'm sure someone out there is very confused as to where it came from. I'm getting there.
On my profile list of descriptive adjectives you may have noticed "aspiring Waldorf homemaker" and "Pagan". Those are the two that are pertinent to this bit. Over the years of being both these major lifestyle-influencing things, I have read quite a bit, practiced quite a bit, and felt inspired by all of it. I read The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker by Manfred Schmidt-Brabant and would nod in deep appreciation and understanding of the value and sacredness of the household tasks; cleaning, baking, caring for one's things. Yes! Of course! I SEE! Then there were offerings to Hestia, goddess of the hearth and home, and Brigid too, pouring over Flylady.org, (some wonderful ideas and habits there too...at first...) and Facebook pages that posted suggestions and questions...but no matter how inspired I became nothing actually made a big dent. My enthusiasm would peak and then fizzle down as the gravity of ALL OF OUR STUFF fell on my shoulders. I understood the WHY, it was the HOW that was just not adding up.
Then I joined a different group.
"KonMari in the Waldorf Home", started by a local friend of mine. Great! Daily reinforcement of the philosophy and goals that I have for our home. Images of homes FAR more tidy and beautifully laid out than my own, but in a hopeful way; a way that motivated me. I had reached a point of acceptance of some of our limits as a family, but also maintaining some of my seemingly lofty goals of organization and home design. I understood that the home is sacred, and our things are a reflection of our lives and our focus (or lack thereof) and that our accumulation of THINGS has created a barrier energetically and physically. I could talk all day about how the energy flow of a house becomes dysfunctional when there is clutter and piles of things all over, because energy gets trapped...and this is not from me, it's ancient, basic Feng Shui. These concepts have always interested me and yet for every guideline and "a-ha!" moment I've internalized, making the changes to our home was just not happening. True, I'm one person in a household of 5 humans. I am not accountable for the entire family, but I have to live here and I AM the chief of household management in my marriage, so implementing change is my domain. So where to start?!? I had all of these lovely ideas and goals, but no clear path to them.
Then, the other day a friend of mine posts on Facebook about Marie Kondo's book and how it's awesome and "OMG everyone needs to read this". In the thread she posts that she listened to it on Youtube, because the audiobook is there for free. Well, now I have no excuse. I couldn't imagine the time and effort to read it, because my time spent reading is on par with unicorn sightings these days, but this I could manage. I'll throw it on my phone while I wash dishes!
Even though I had heard of this book since it came to the US, I had also heard a few things that turned me off of reading it. Primarily, comments about how KonMari includes origami folding of clothes and socks. "Really? Isn't that a little....extreme? I'm never going to do that" was my initial reaction. But still, I am always open to the wisdom of "take what you like and leave the rest", so I won't dismiss an approach based on one element.
So the other day, I set up to wash dishes and I throw on the audiobook my friend posted, hoping for any wisdom that might improve our lives.
I ended up listening to over an hour of the five hour recording. I continued to put it on every moment I had where I could listen, and it took three days for me to finish.
So this brings me to why I am calling KonMari method "Witchcraft"...and I'll assume those reading this understand that this term not only has a positive connotation for me but I am using this opportunity to explain what Witchcraft IS to those who aren't so familiar. I use these terms in the most universal way; the ritual practice of setting intentions and working with natural materials in order to harness energetic properties for working your will and the will of Spirit.
You see, the way Marie Kondo explains the relationship between the world and the human being has a clear understanding of ancient energetic wisdom. She explains how she was a Shinto shrine maiden in her youth, and how this influences her practice and methods. She talks about speaking to our belongings and how we interact with them, and how they have life independent of our relationship to them...but it was really only through the journey of reading the entire book that I had the context for how that all makes complete sense.
For those of us who embrace and practice Earth Magick, Folk Magick, and/or otherly "Witchcraft", there is an understanding of sacredness to the natural world. As Kondo expresses in the final pages of the book, her thoughts on the relationship to home and belongings is that we are meant to keep those connections as natural as possible, with as few barriers as possible. Through the practice of sorting and communing with our every worldly possession, we are forced to tap into this wisdom, and in turn we are awakened to the living relationship between us and our home environment. The flow of energy in the home is something many of us are very much aware of and as we link our understanding of energy flow in life and the material world, we can start to see how each layer of our existence is living out it's connection to each other layer. They say the state of one's room often reflects one's mental state. Well, KonMari may very well be a way to tap into mental health. As I progressed through this book I was quickly drawn to the memory of Mr. Miyagi in film The Karate Kid, not because of the Japanese connection, although it is easy to see the common threads philosophically, but specifically because of the Holistic method of "training" the body and mind together. Those who've seen the movie may remember (SPOILER!) Mr. Miyagi has Daniel paint his house, wax his cars, sand the floor of his deck...doing all of this hard labor. As he arrives each day and tries to do this work unquestioningly, Daniel does wonder why he is made to do all of this house work when all he wants to be learning is Karate. We soon see that in his wisdom, Mr. Miyagi was training Daniel's muscles, mind, and entire self to be READY to perform Karate properly. It is in this truly holistic way that I see the value in KonMari and why I have become excited at the thought of folding my clothes into perfect little packages. There is a marked difference however between KonMari and Mr. Miagi's method, and that lies in how KonMari is working within a place of intention all along. In explaining the folding technique, we are told that we should feel the fabric, love the cloth, and thank our clothes for the hard work they do for us. This is acting on a level of awareness in the moment, even as we are also training ourselves to live every other aspect of our lives with gratitude and intention and I dare say, the more a person rolls their eyes at these suggestions, the more a person would benefit from doing them. I found myself in tears as I received these instructions actually, because it was so profound to me how simple it all was, as though a child had come up with the idea. The beauty of it just struck me, and I could see myself holding a joy-sparking t-shirt and expressing that joy back to it, and placing it away with that joy still reverberating...and the very real effect that might have on my life, rippling out. How could I ever roll my eyes at that?
It is in this holistic philosophy that I see the true Magick of this approach. Once we recognize how our physical actions effect our mental and psycho-emotional well being, we can no longer pretend they are not interconnected. They are, whether we like it or not. We cast a spell of sorts every time we carefully fold and express gratitude to our favorite sweater, and likewise when we carelessly toss another paper onto a pile on our messy desk. What spell do we want to be casting?
By minimizing our possessions and keeping only what truly serves us and brings us joy, we are creating a sacred space all around us, not just on a small shrine or altar in the corner, though many of us have those too. This has always been my hope, I just never had the blueprint that made sense for me to create that space. The irony is, I have NEVER liked minimalism! The perceived aesthetic of it...clean lines and white and black...is the antithesis of my style. I like Boho and Tie-dye and textiles and color and mis-matched furniture that blends together in a fun and creative way...and even some Victorian influences. My taste couldn't be farther from the modern, crisp image we have when we hear "minimalist"...but KonMari doesn't say I can't have all of those things! It does however guide how I can refine my designs and spaces.
The greatest message really in my opinion is how she clearly, and in great detail, explains HOW to perform the method. Someone finally told me where to start, and WHY all those other methods fail...and I almost missed out on this, because of information given out of context.
Now, I have not yet begun the physical practice of KonMari. I have been internalizing the "joy spark" mentality for a while and that is a huge part of it, but it's the practical side that I was lacking. Lucky for me, I already was completely sold on thy psycho-spiritual aspect for years. This book was essentially written confirmation of something I had visceral understanding of already, but no language or support in practicing.
If you know me well, and if you've been to my house recently, you may be thinking "Wow. Annette sure talks the talk for someone living in a house piled with stuff!". I mean, I hope not because wow, what kind of friend judges their friends like that! But the truth is I think this all the time, because I've been stuck. I am more equipped to organize and manage our home than anyone else living in this house, and I've been stuck. I hope that now, with a very clear checklist and language that really resonates with me, that I can move my family into a healthier and clear living space.
KonMari is said to take a minimum of 6 months, so given the nature of my home, family size, and known pace, I expect it will take a full year to do it right. Clothing is first, and I will be blogging my progress here for accountability. I've never been this excited to fold my socks in a different way, but here I am. I'm ready to follow directions and take it all in, because all of those other charts and boxes were just not working, and this is designed to work for anyone who actually follows through and follows the rules. It's the simplest massive overhaul of my home that I've embarked on, so here goes.
Wax on, wax off.
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| Trying out the KonMari fold before the big clothing explosion. |
