So it's that time of year again!
Time for article after article voicing opinions on "the Santa question". You know the one I'm talking about...
"Is it right to lie to your children?"
I have seriously seen this angle to Santa in articles, blogs, conversations, etc... too many times to count...and I have something to say about it.
FIRST of all...wow are there are a whole load of assumptions in this track of thinking. This question jumps to a conclusion, diagnosis and judgment without ever filling in any of the thinking or philosophy behind what Santa means in general, let alone what it means to a particular person or family.
So for any of you who think "Santa is a lie, I'm not sure that's what I want for my children...", I offer you another perspective. This is how I was raised, and what Santa is for ME:
Santa was a story, a presence and spirit of sorts, anticipated and eluded to, but never seen or discussed in a literal way...and by that I mean...nobody ever said to me "there will be a fat man who flies in a sleigh led by reindeer coming down our chimney and leaving stuff in our living room". There was a sense of wonder, magick and mystery surrounding the legend. We went to the mall to tell "Santa's helper" what we wanted for Christmas and I got a few of the things I asked for. I don't recall ever questioning Santa, and maybe that was because I did not spend a lot of time with the skeptical kids, but Christmas was not all about Santa in my house either. We have a very sacred Italian tradition revolving around the Nativity and only a few presents were from Santa, the rest were marked with the name of the "in the flesh" person giving them.
Then one Christmas, as I recall, my mother told me the story of how when she was little, Santa brought her a doll that she loved more than anything, and that she knew there was no way her family could have afforded this doll, but it appeared for her on Christmas, and she believed that it was "Santa" who made it happen. My child-mind at the time may have thought of this as a literal "Santa", but I don't remember that. What I do know, is that I came to understand that my mother was saying "I believe in miracles and no matter what anyone says, miracles are possible". So when I heard people speaking of "believing in Santa Claus", it never occurred to me, not once, to question Santa...because I was not looking for a fat man in the chimney, I was imagining a magickal being; the spirit of Christmas, and his overwhelmingly provable influence on my world.
I also recall one year, I was perhaps 8 or 9 years old...I stood in my living room and looked at our fireplace, which basically decorative, with no chimney, and I said to my mom "Does Santa have to use the front door to our house...since we have no chimney?" and I remember her evasive look...and the shift in the energy of the room...and I remember making a smirk...and that was the moment for me; the moment that I crossed the fence and could play from the other side of the court.
See, I never had to "be told" anything or "find out" anything about Santa. My comprehension deepened and shifted as I grew, because it was left to me and there was no attempt to make Santa some provable, physical, literal world THING.
Now, I know that what I was told and raised with is not necessarily the common experience. My Santa was not going to punish me or leave me coal either. We didn't do the "naughty or nice" blackmail crap. MY Santa was not able to be seen and was understood as a mystical force. I know some parents give straight answers about Santa and leave foot prints and otherwise worldly "evidence" of Santa's presence. I find that way of going about it strange to be honest, because it sets the child up to associate faith or belief with empirical proof...and of course, that is a contradiction. But if that was YOUR experience, and it turns you off the whole idea, know that there is more than one way to tell a story.
So because of all of this, when I hear people saying things like "but, you are lying to your kids!"...I feel a sadness, and anger as well; do these people have no imagination? No concept of a child's world and would actually sit there and tell a young child "that's only a story, it's not real"? And maybe therein lies the main problem...that people equate "story" with being "false", and would go so far as to arrogantly teach their children that THEY are the authority on Truth and reality and that if it can't be seen then it is not real. Well, that is not the message I want to send my children.
Stories, Fairy Tales have a very real place in our lives and in our children's lives. They react with us on a visceral level and they tap into something deep inside us. Albert Einstein knew this and Rudolf Steiner knew this as well, which is why so much of his Waldorf Education model was built around fairy tales and story telling as an art form. If we start our children off with the idea that something they imagine is not "real", then I believe we are robbing them of the chance to figure things out on their own. If it's a monster under the bed, they need to CONQUER it, not be told "that's not real". If it's a fairy in the woods, they need to leave it a dish of honey and mind the toad stool rings. Whether you believe in these things or not, your child may, and who are we to tell them that they are "imagining" something that, to them, is quite real...and in fact, we cannot disprove. Stories play a part in the foundations of faith, and in the roots of our ability to trust ourselves and the world around us, not to mention being open tot he possibility that there is more "out there" than we may comprehend...the first lesson in humility.
From where I sit, Santa is so much more than a picture, a coke advert, or a fat bearded man sweating into a polyester suit at the local mall. Santa Claus is a story...and for a child, it's the story to end all stories. Santa can be an opportunity for a child to comprehend God in their own language, to relate to the idea of a benevolent force in the Universe working in their favor. I have my own family now, and though we are Pagan by practice, we keep the traditions of our families alive and I take great joy in telling my sons how Santa Claus is known in different forms all over the world, just like the Goddess and God, just like Jesus and Buddha...and these are all connected on some level...a face for our human minds to relate to our higher power at every age, level and status.
In conclusion, these articles and blogs and parents are, in my opinion, asking the wrong question.
It's not "why do you lie to your children", it's "If you share the story of Santa Claus with your children, what is your attitude about it?"...let us have THAT conversation. At least then, it shows some respect and some comprehension of a wider view of things.
I would even go so far as to ask "how can a rational and logically thinking adult give them a childhood without robbing them of their own sense of wonder?", and that requires work for the adult, especially the adult who "grew up" a little too much. So YES VIRGINIA! There IS a Santa Claus and YES, I leave a plate of cookies as an offering to Father Christmas every year...because if Santa was not a "real" entity a few hundred years ago, the faith of thousands if not millions of children around the world for hundreds of years might just be enough to have made him manifest...and by now, he is probably a demi-God by way of relativity.
Bake those cookies and HO HO HO...Santa Claus IS coming to town!
